Good HUMOR in Fine Feathered Form

There are no rules for where to start, but at the very beginning, “so let’s get going!!”

“Broom Joke”

”Hey, did you hear about the two brooms in the dark closet?? Yeah, the lady broom leaned over to the man broom and said to him, “I think we’re going to have a little baby whisker broom together! The man broom looked at her in astonishment, “I’m not so sure my dear, I do love you and all, but we haven’t even SWEPT together yet!!”

Delicious

Bird Food for Life is more than a book of little stories, it is a reflection on Life, through the furtherance of Health, Healing, Hope, Humor, Happy, Harmony, and Hallelujah!! When Humor is in the middle of it all, Life is more grand, more glorious, and much more enjoyable.

Good Humor is better than a bowl of ice-cream, more soothing than a cup of tea, heartier than a pot of beef stew, more inspiring than Elon Musk, and more meaningful than a pat on the back. CHEERS!!

Well, Gullllllllllly!! Thank-you for all the good that you do!! I’m just not sure what it is that you do, but thank-you so much, “Thank-you very much!!” (a little Elvis Presley for you!!) CHEERS!!

LIFE is Beautiful in almost every way imaginable, but sometimes we need to rise above it all to get a better view and to find a new perspective. Birds show us the way and it comes quite by nature for them. The view from 30,000 feet is lighter, brighter, and more beautiful, so please sit back, relax, buckle-in, and set your mind free to go up, up, up, and away into the wild blue yonder.

Do you know what pretty little birds like to eat for breakfast in the morning?? Well, you would think that they would like to eat some seeds, nuts, fruits, and a popcorn ball, but it turns out that here in Libby, MT what they really like is a little bowl of TWEETIES!!

It turns out that those same little birds are drinking coffee, did you know that?? Yeah, you will often see them milling around at McDonald’s and Starbucks parking lot in the early morning hours looking for a cup of coffee!! Do you know how they like to drink their coffee?? What they Really Really Really like is a little cup of HOT Coffee with just a dash of TWEETNER!!

Do you know why little birds don’t chew gum?? “Cause they ain’t got no TEETH!!

Doctor Doctor

Did you hear about the little bird that broke his beak on a NUTT?? Yeah, he was working on a hard NUTT one day and ended up with a crack in his beak, so he had to fly in to see his doctor. “Doc, what am I going to do, it hurts to eat and I may never be able to sing pretty!!” So, the Doctor took a look at his beak, ordered some tests, prescribed some pain pills, drew a pint of blood, and took a couple x-rays. A while later the doctor came back in with the results. “YEP, sure enough, you did indeed crack your beak; we’ll have to put a cast on it.” So, the Nurse came in, they wrapped that beak in plaster and the doctor said to come back and see him in 6 weeks.  Six weeks later little bird hobbled back in to see the doctor; by that time, little bird was emaciated, weak, bedraggled, and on his last legs. The doctor propped him up on the examination table, combed back his feathers, took a look, hooked him up to an IV drip, ordered some more tests, and a series of new x-rays. Two hours later the doctor came in with the  good news, “Your beak has healed, I think we can remove that cast!” So, the nurse came in and they carefully cut through the plaster, and removed the cast. “There, that looks good, now you should be able to sing pretty!!” “Doc, see that’s the whole problem, I NEVER COULD SING PRETTY!!”

“One stormy, historical, and hysterical night” 

It was a cold, dark, stormy, and historical night in the summer of 1752, when ol’-Benjamin Franklin went outside to fly his kite with a key attached to the other end of the connected wire string in anticipation of the famous lightning strike, which would harken the discovery of electricity. Now, after some time had passed on that wet and windy night, ol’-Ben was not having any luck getting his kite up, so his lovely wife Deborah put down the book that she was “Read”-ing at bedside, she covered-up her nighty, poked her head out the window, and yelled to old-Ben “You need more Tail!!”  Well, right then and there good ol’-Ben was taken aback by her shocking admonishment on that cold, frought-filled, and hysterical night, and he responded, “That’s What I Was Trying to Tell You Last Night!!”

Good HUMOR abounds all around and around: it is one of the Universal Languages (Music, English, Nature, Humor, Birds, Catfish, and Snickers Bars) in that It transcends the typical lines of division. Good Humor brings people together!! Much like an ice-cream social.

“BOWLING Birds” Do you know why pretty little birds don’t go Bowling?? “Because they don’t like to fly around in dark alleys!!”

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“Chippewa Cure-all” Chippewa Indian lady named Terri. .  .

 “Ouch!! That’s HOT!!” Cute, crippled, old man from Holland. .  .

 “Francisco Short” Bainville Meats Mexican butcher man. .  .