Bird Food for Life’s BaFFLe Book of Broom-HUMOR

It’s Good HUMOR in fine Feathered form, born and raised
in MONTANA!!

“Broom Joke”

There were these two brooms standing in a dark closet; one broom was a little taller than the other broom; and the little broom, the lady broom, she leaned over to the man broom and said “Dear, I think we’re going to have a little baby whisker broom together!!” The man broom looked over at her in astonishment, he threw his arms up in the air and shook his head. “I do love you my dear, you’re so beautiful, so sleek and so slender, standing here in this dark closet with me for all these days, but we’ve been in here for a long, long, time and I’m just not so sure that you might not be going crazy, because we haven’t even SWEPT together yet!!” 

You know what?? You really SWEEP me away with all your Broom-HUMOR!!

The other morning, I finished drinking my coffee, I put away my computer, and I was getting ready to leave McDonald’s restaurant, when I had the urge to share a thought with the friendly and hard-working server there named Grace; so, I walked up to the counter and asked her a simple question, “have you ever thought that you might like to be a Broom?? ‘No, why?’ Well, that way you could SWEEP on the job, and you wouldn’t get in trouble for hanging out in the Broom closet!!”

One day, on our drive back home from visiting Glacier National Park, I leaned over to my best friend Liu-da’ there in the car and said to her “Dear, let’s pretend that you are a little broom and I am a Big Broom; so, do you think that we could ever SWEEP together??

The hardest part about being a Broom and trying to make a living to support the family, is that you end up getting in trouble for SWEEPING on the job, and then you get in trouble for NOT SWEEPING on the job!! LIFE is tough!! “You just can’t win being a BROOM!!”

My good buddy Mike, the MOP, thinks it’s funny when I get stood up in the corner for the night, but then I get the last laugh when I see him getting wrung-out and hung-up in the corner to dry!! “Drip drip drip. .  .”

The good thing about being a BROOM is that you can get away with things that others just can’t get away with in polite company: you can SWEEP together inside, you can SWEEP together outside, you can SWEEP together on the roof, in the park, after dark, on the ground, and all around!! SWEEP, Rinse, and Repeat!!

Men and boys are the masters of SWEEPING!! I remember ever since I was a little boy, how I liked to SWEEP!! We had an old shed on the dilapidated property there on Prickett Lane in Billings, MONTANA, when I was just knee-high to a grasshopper; and it had a dirt floor. My brother and I had set it up as a bicycle repair shop; we hung up old sprockets, dirty chains, twisted handle bars, and flat inner tubes, on the old barn wood walls; and I SWEPT that floor clean, I was so proud of it!! See, so my days of SWEEPING on the job started at a young age!! “To this day, I still like to SWEEP on the job, and I do get SWEPT away once in a while!!”

NO RESPECT!! Little brooms, they do grow into Big BROOMS, and they do end up carrying a big stick; but they still end up getting pushed around a lot and pushed into corners, by the very people entrusted with their care. NO RESPECT!!

Where would we be without the Broom?? Attics would be dusty, bathrooms would be messy, garages dirty, parking lots full of pebbles, corners cobwebbed, pitcher’s mounds rough, carpets streaked, and witches grounded!!

Delicious

Bird Food for Life is more than a book of little stories, it is a reflection on Life, through the furtherance of Health, Healing, Hope, HUMOR, Happy, Harmony, and Hallelujah!! When Good HUMOR is in the middle of it all, Life is more grand, more glorious, and much more enjoyable.

Good HUMOR is better than a bowl of ice-cream, more soothing than a cup of tea, heartier than a pot of beef stew, more inspiring than Elon Musk, and more meaningful than a pat on the back. CHEERS!!

Rainbow Dreams

What happens to Rainbows after they steal the show??

“They get thrown into PRISM, but generally its only a Light sentence and it does give them time to Reflect!!

Good-HUMOR is like word smithing; it’s almost like sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson solving a murder mystery at Buckingham Palace. There are the intriguing characters, interesting implements, curious coincidences, and every opportunity; all wrapped together in a plausible story line with wit, wisdom, reason, tension, and resolution. The punchline comes from out of nowhere and hits you right upside the head; it’s almost like Sherlock Holmes unlocking the mystery set before you. “Aha!! ha ha haa!!”

Thanks for laughing, and you can check out more here on my BLOG: BirdFoodforLife.world

Cheers!! Larry, spelled “B-o-b”